A couple of days ago, I got a message saying that unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to get a visa for Peru, which complicates my plans to stay and volunteer in Cusco for a year quite a bit. I’d been aware that it would possibly not work out, but part of me chose to ignore this and confidingly believe that eventually, the whole visa problem would just solve itself.
So this piece of news wasn’t totally unexpected, but it still hit me fairly hard. My reaction? Fear. Fear of what lies ahead. Fear of not being as spontaneous and independent as I like to believe. Doubts. Did I make the right choice? Was I out of my mind, heading to the other end of the world for an indefinite time without even knowing if they’d let me stay? What was I thinking, relying on the authorities to welcome me with open arms?
There I was now. A few days before leaving behind familiar settings once again to discover an unknown country. All alone. Failed plans. Few alternatives. Not knowing what to do next.
While I was pondering my situation, the thoughts depriving me of my sleep, I reached for my phone, opened Spotify and pressed Shuffle. By chance, an old Beatles song started playing. And as the sound of «Let it be» filled the room, I felt myself relaxing somewhat. New ideas started to form in my head. Possibilities surfaced where there had only been disappointment and helplessness. Funnily enough, the next song that began to play was «Free to decide»…
I have no idea what is going to happen nor where I’ll be in half a year or even three months from now. Maybe I’ll find a way to stay in Peru after all. Maybe not. For now, all I can do is take it as it comes.
Hi! I’m glad to know that this entry has already been superseded by good news 🙂
Keep up the writing. Looking forward to it