– a middle-aged Peruvian woman exclaims upon seeing me hike up on my own to the famous waterfalls. She is not the first to react this way, people are generally surprised to see a young woman travelling on her own. They usually seem concerned about my well-being or look around suspiciously to see if there aren’t any travel companions hiding in the shadows.
I get doubtful looks, curious ones, admiring or even envious glances. Comments like «Do you not feel lonely?» or «You’re so brave, I could never travel alone!» have become almost routine in the past months. Am I brave? I don’t know. I basically started travelling solo because my plans didn’t coincide with any of my friends’. And then slowly I grew fond of it. In the course of my travels, I have done multi-day treks, survived 20h bus rides, participated in workshops, slept in lots of hostels, volunteered at various places, all without previously knowing anybody.
And every time the following traveller’s wisdom has proven to be right: you’re never really alone, because you always meet people along the way – it’s actually easier when you’re on your own! You just need to have the courage to approach people and the openness to share. Beware: you might end up enjoying a delicious improvised picnic with a complete stranger on the bus or talking until late at night with a group of hikers you happened to meet at the tent shop.
Occasionally such encounters take place without you having to prompt them. Like when a German girl politely told me I was occupying her seat (I’d gotten a free upgrade and had been told to pick any seat, obviously chose the one already reserved…). We ended up sharing a taxi and staying at the same hostel. Then her friend joined us plus a girl I’d met earlier on as well as someone from the hostel and all of a sudden we were a group of five German-speaking girls exploring the beach town of Huanchaco.
Sometimes I even have to remind myself that I need some alone time too. There are so many things going on, so many people I could talk to and who knows, they’d probably all make great friends. But it’s important to step back now and then, to listen to what’s happening on the inside. There are also days when I actually just don’t feel like talking to anyone, when I crawl back into my little bubble, pulling away from any possible interaction. And then I have to tell myself that that’s ok, that people don’t expect me to be sociable the whole time, that everybody needs a bit of space once in a while.
And yes, there are certain situations that might be uncomfortable for a woman on her own or certain things I’d probably done more often if I had a travel buddy. Hitchhiking for example. I’m still not quite comfortable getting into a stranger’s car on my own, hoping he/she will take me to the right place…
But in exchange, I am free to choose where I want to go, how long I want to stay, when I eat, when I sleep and when I want to do absolutely nothing, without having to take (too much) into consideration other peoples’ needs. And that freedom is priceless.